The consequances of divorce on parents and children Research Paper

The consequances of divorce on parents and children - Research Paper Example The first stage is shock. When a spouse decides to divorce his or her partner, the partner may feel numb at first because such numbness protects him or her from the pain. When the truth sinks in, that is when he or she would feel the enormous emotional pain. Next is the denial stage. When the truth is too hard to accept, the partner being divorced may choose to deny it and live life as if nothing happened. However, he or she would need to be constantly reminded of the truth, and if necessary, even be provoked to face it just so he/she can move on. The next stage is anger. This is the outpouring of emotions that the partner may have repressed in the earlier stages and vent it out to anyone. Constant questioning and lamenting about how unfair it is to be in such a situation accompanies the anger. As soon as the anger is let out, clarity of mind may be expected after. When the anger has been expressed and dissipated, the bargaining stage comes next. The partner being divorced may ask fo r a second chance or the. If the bargaining is unsuccessful and nothing can be done to stop the divorce from happening, he/she may fall into the depression stage. He/ She can be hopeless, devastated and unable to continue living normally. He/She may also tend to withdraw from their personal relationships with other people and keep to themselves. Although still in a state of depression, grieving people may come to a point when they realize they cannot be helpless forever and try some things that may be more proactive. It has been identified to be the initial step towards the acceptance stage. People in the testing stage now look into the practical things that could be done while there is still an opportunity. Finally, they come to the stage of acceptance and readiness to move on to the next phase of their lives. This may take a while longer depending on their capacity to heal from the emotional hurt that the divorce has caused. B. Children The children may feel abandoned and at a los s when their parents decide to divorce. Some may blame themselves and believe it is their fault that their parents’ marriage did not work out as it should. They may be torn between which parent they would prefer to be with and undergo strong ambivalent emotions toward one or both parents. For some children, loss of self-confidence and self-esteem will affect their productivity especially in school. Some children will display rebellious behaviour while others will be overly solicitous of the parent they are left with. The children may also go through the stages of grief discussed above and try all means to get their parents back together and strive to be a whole family again. It is a very emotional period in their lives. II. Social Consequences of Divorce A. Economic Espenshade (1979) explain that divorce affects the family’s economic standing but since families’ needs for income may differ according to the family size and composition, the economic effect may be not be standard. A study by Hoffman (1977) conclude that women are at a much greater disadvantage economically than men as they experience a reduction in living standards whereas their former husbands experience a gain. This may be due to the fact that wives mostly have